“Home is where you hang your hat”

Home is where you hang your hat…or is it? When I was little, people always used to asks me whether I liked the US or ______ better (wherever i was living at the time)? Whether by someone else’s prompting or whether from my own wisdom and experience, I answered: “do you like your mom or dad better?”

Years later, still living in two places, I find that that’s still so true. There are things I love about both and things that I don’t about both. My heart is in both and a part of both.

Coming back “home home”, to the house we lived in before we left, is a strange experience in and of itself. The truth is that it’s not my home. The truth is that I’ve been gone for 2 years. The truth is that other people now live here. The truth is that the longer I’m away the more it doesn’t feel like mine. Yes, it still very much looks like my home: same furniture, same decor, same dog. But it’s not! It’s not where I live now, so it no longer has my fingerprints on it. Its looks are deceiving.

What to do? Part of me wants to just sell the house and stay with family or friends next time we come to visit, in their home and not “mine”. This would be a huge hassle, unattainable in the 3 weeks that we’re here. Do we hold onto it? Probably, it’s the easiest way forward. But maybe I should just take my pictures and decor down and let others do their thing that way it can become their house. After all it is their home now.  We stay in the basement when we visit.

My home is in Zambia now. That’s where we spend most of our time. That’s where we do most of our work. But even that house is not OUR home. It has been home to so many other missionaries before us that it is strongly imprinted by all of their past decisions: furniture, decor, dishes, etc… Do we get rid of any of it and make things our own? In a country where people don’t have much this seems like a luxury.

Before you know it these 3 weeks will be over and we’ll start making our way back “home” to Zambia. The longer we live there the less anywhere in the US will feel like home but especially this house.

There is a grieving process here for me, not because of a house, I’m not that attached, but because I know and have known what it’s like to be a nomad, to never have roots anywhere, and I see that I’m once again traveling that road.

“Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.” Ephesians 2:19-20

It becomes more and more evident every time we return to the US that I have less and less time to invest in the friendships that I had before I left.

            “Do not store up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  But store up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure in, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21

This all makes me think of all of those in the Bible who were nomadic because they chose to follow God’s command to follow Him: Abraham, Moses, Joseph, the disciples. Paul, etc…  This gives me peace.  I know that I am in the palm of His hand and that is the best “home” to have.  No matter where I ”hang my hat” I know that I will love those around me and enjoy His blessings.

            “…Their mind is set on earthly things.  But our citizenship is in heaven.  And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.” Philippians 3:19b-21

Of course the logistics of having a home in the US still begs the question of whether to sell the house or not and all that that encompasses.  Please pray that God would move in a miraculous way if that is to happen.  Also pray that those who live here would find new homes and transition well.  Selling a home is a complex endeavor which seems overwhelming to do but if it’s God’s plan He will lead us. As we have sadly seen in Kentucky all that we have here on this earth can easily disappear.  What truly is the most important thing that we have in addition to our family and friends? A God who has left His home in heaven to come down here and redeem us from our sinful ways. 

“…because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1: 20b-21

As our pastor said this past Sunday: “He downsized to a womb”.  He came in spite of all of the discomfort.  He came in spite of all of the hatred.  He came in spite of His suffering.  He gave it all up for us: for you and for me.

            “But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship.” Galatians 4:4,5

Praise the Lord for His gift.  We cherish Him and celebrate this wonderful sacrifice made for us.